US: Hello Mr. Holy Rolling Emperor Penguin God. Do you mind if we call you PG to save time and space?

PG: PG? I'm not PG. Calling me that would signify that you are questioning me if I am pregnant, and believe me I am not pregnant! I am the Holy Rolling Emperor Penguin God. You can address me as Deer.

US: Deer? You mean Dear, of course, right?

PG: I mean Deer. Never call me Dear.

US: Uhhhh...ok Deer. Now can you tell us when you found out that you were adopted?

PG: I knew that I had been adopted since I was eleven--but what I did not know and just learned when I decided to find out who my birth parents are--is that I was born or at least deposited in a dumpster and left as garbage.

US: This may well be why you enjoy taking naps in trash cans now? Please forgive me for making reference to the emberassing situation when you were observed waking up in the trash can right as the camera caught you. Tell us about finding the original birth records would you please?

PG: I have found my original records and a small press clipping and found that my real mother went to prison for a few years and is now living in Oxnard California.

US: Oh how exciting! Are you going to go visit her?

PG: I have decided to go visit her in spite of not knowing what appropriate feelings I should have under the circumstances, but I have not yet got up the courage to go make the visit.

US: That seems strange.

PG: I know it seems strange--but curiosity is not really illogical--its the necessary conclusion... Well I did not do too badly after all--if I had not been disposed of in a dumpster I would not have been brought up in Westwood -Beverly Hills California--I would not have been an ivy league student would not have all the great things my adopted parents give to me-- nor would I be the Holy Rolling Emperor Penguin God now would I?

US: You credit your adoptive parents for your stand in life where you are now then. Where do you think you would be had it not been for their generousity and caring hearts and adopting you?

PG: I'd be living somewhere in Oxnard??? Who knows. I am looking for other Children of the Dumpster to post their stories here in Dumpster News postings---how many of us are there?

US: Do you believe you have an affectionate affinity with dumpsters now from your birth experience?

PG: I have to tell you that the best place to find stuff in a dumpster is here in Westwood. The cops will hassle you unless they know you live in the area--they know me--everyone knows me, I am the Holy Rolling Emperor Penguin God. I have found great stuff in dumpsters here--people here don't have garage sales--they just rent a dumpster--its out with their old life and in with their new....Dumpsters have a special place in my heart--its like going back home for me--- I am living proof of the treasure found in dumpsters--apparently a dumpster diver found me--who now owns a thrift shop somewhere down the San Diego highway------ Wow maybe I'll be burried in a dumpster--kind of poetic justice?

US: Do you look forward to your death and burial in a dumpster?

PG: I was just pulling you leg, trying to make you taller. Five inches is awfully short. I am the Holy Rolling Emperor Penguin God and I am immortal. Don't believe me, look at my art. It will end up in a dumpster and someone will find it.

US: Are you feeling ok Mr. Penguin God? You look strange.

PG: What? What? Oh I was just thinking... Gads it's weird knowing this stuff---hope to see my real mother soon....

US: It's weird? But you...you are the Holy Rolling Emperor Penguin God, you know ALL...everything. Why should this feel weird? I think we will leave you now to your deep thoughts and ponderings. Thank you for the interview Mr. Penguin God. I hope you have a nice reunion with your mother. I wonder if she has as many feathers as you do? And genitails...well never mind that...I must go now.