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DUMPSTER LESSONS





Dumpster Diving

1321 U of O

2 course credits per semester

Associate Professor of Garbage, Dr. Lex Loeb AKA Yoda the Zen Dumpster Master, has been teaching this course here at the U of O for the past 27 years. It's a very popular Course and space is limited, with 2 full credits per semester and possible work experience.

Dr Loeb has a Phdg. Degree in Garbage History and Garbology from Haavard University and has been an associate at the U of O for the past 26 years. He co- wrote the Enclyopedia of Garbage and Wrote the book "Living Out of the Garbage Can for Fun and Profit--The Home Economics of the Future."

The course is $19.95 per student semester. $25 for non-students. Subsequent courses are * Advanced Dumpster Diving 1322 on up to a Doctorate of Philosophy course for graduate students and beyond.

Dumpster Diving 1321:

1. Dumpster Diving Basics.
  • Best Places NOT To Dive: Office Supply Stores, Medical Facilities
  • Best Places To Dive: Bakeries, ThriftStores, Books Stores, Video Stores
  • Don't Make A Mess
  • Wearing Proper Head Gear or Can I Borrow That Paper Bag?
  • Wearing Proper Hand Gear...Good Gloves
  • Wearing Proper Foot Gear. Hiking Boots Preferred.
  • Sharp Ended Sticks VS Hooked Ended Sticks

    • 2. Jumping In Or Not Jumping In?

  • Are Stacked Pasteboard Boxes Safe Ladders?
  • Is Making A Half Full Dumpster Dive Safe?
  • Assembling And Using A Dumpster Grappler

    • 3. Possible Dead Bodies.

  • 'Smell' Detection Training
  • When Confronted By Authorities, Admit Only To Searching For Boxes.

    4. Other Dangers.

  • Rabid Rodents
  • Beware Of Sharp Objects And Old Cheese
  • Funny Fumes
  • Slamming Lids
  • Strange Spiders

    • 5. The Rewards.

  • Satisfaction
  • Diamonds In The Trash
  • Freebies

    • 6. Mystery In Black Plastic Bags.

  • Refer Back To Number 3.
  • What IS That SMELL?

    • 7. Urban Myths And Dumpsters...they are all real.

  • The Orphan Dumpster Baby
  • I Found A Million In An Dumpster Dollars Once

    • 8. Lure Of The Dumpster.

  • The Temptations Of Trash
  • The Temptations Of Trash Part Two
  • The Temptations Of Trash And Making Free Money
  • Tempted By The Trash Of Dr. Phil
  • And Other Famous Trash

    • 9. Co-oping Dumpster Space.

  • The Basics Of Sharing A Favorite Dumpster
  • The Desire Of Sharing A Favorite Dumpster
  • Is My Trash Your Treasure?
  • Why It's Not Nice To Shove Fellow Divers Aside, (They May After All Know A Better Dumpster)

    • 10. Sleeping In Dumpster.

  • Proper Sleeping Attire
  • Proper Use Of Newspaper Blankets

    • 11. Mc Trash and free food.

  • Eight Course Dinner Is Served In Dumpster Number 1.
  • Salad Or Soup
  • Proper Etiquette And Newspaper Napkins
  • Dumpster Dinner By Candle Light

    • 12. Making Love In A Dumpster.

  • Safe Sex And Diving
  • Other Uses For Black Plastic Bags
  • Dumpsters And One Night Stands

    • 13. Fallin In Love In A Dumpster.

  • Is It Dumpster Dust Or Just Dumpster Lust?
  • CandyHearts Or Goo
  • Dumpster Love Stories

    • 14. Dumpster Poetry.

  • Roses Are red, Violets Are Blue, I Love You Darlin', I Would Love To Dive With You.
  • The Art Of Finding And Selling Dumpster Poetry
  • The Art Of Composing De-Composing Trash Poetry

    • 15. Dumpster Exploration Week 1.

  • Field Trip To Down Town Portland
  • Field Trip To The Pearl District
  • Field Trip To Beaverton

    • 16. Dumpster Exploration Week 2.

  • Field Trip To The Top Resturaunts Dumpsters
  • Field Trip To McDonald's Dumpsters
  • Field Trips To Denny's Dumpsters

    • 17. Dumpster Exploration Week 3.

  • Field Trip To Block Buster
  • Field Trip To Powell's
  • Field Trip To Local Office Supply Stores And Why NOT To Dive Them

    • 18. Creating your very own dumpster. How to fill it and make it enticing for divers.

  • Dipsey Dumpster Design 101

    • 19. Dumpster Secrets.

  • How To Discover Them
  • What To Do When You Discover Them
  • Hoarding Dumpster Secrets
    •

    20. Dumpster Treasure Hunt Competition.

  • To Be Announced Later

    • 21. Dumpster Diving Final Exam.

  • Tips On Final Trash Test

    • 22. Dumpster Essay.

  • To Be Turned In With Final Exam For Extra Credit





    • DISCLAIMER

    The above was written as a spoof and intended to be read with humor. The WebMaster is very aware that Dumpster Diving is a serious past time and many books and classes have been done on it. The Webmaster also possesses a Halo and is a Fake Lex, and has written the above as requested by the Real Lex. For any questions or answers please feel free to email the Real Lex at loeb@webtv.net.

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