He picks the thing up and starts rubbing it because its freezing and penguines like to rub things that are colder than they are (because they are warm and prefer to stay cool) and out of the magic lamp pops a genie who happens to have the voice of Rush Limbaugh.

The Genie tells the Penguine, "Im giving you three wishes...anything of your choice."

And the penguine starts thinking and thinking hard...he tells the genie to go back into the lamp and wait a few days because he has to go lay an egg.

The genie goes back into the lamp rather reluctantly because granting three wishes gets him out of the lamp and back on the radio.

About a year later the penguine remembers to go back to the lamp...and starts rubbing it. Out pops the genie with the voice of Rush Limbaugh who says, "I thought you were never going to return its freezing in this part of the world and I nearly became a liberal out of boredom ...and so what have you decided are your three wishes?"

The penguine says, "I thought about if for almost a year now, laid an egg and decided I want Paris, I want to be Bill Gates, and I want Airforce One with a freezing temperatures in the flight cabin."

"Your will be done," said the genie and out of the blue all of Paris appears on an iceburg and the french are freezing and the pengune sprouts a name tag with the name Bill Gates on it.

At the Orly Airport part of Paris now on the iceberg. Airforce One is waiting with an interior colder than the outside weather.

The genie is looking at what the Penguine's dream come true and is at a loss for figuring out exactly what the heck the penguine took so long to come up with this combination of wishes for....So the genie asks the penguine to explain.

"I thought penguines were modest creatures?"

The penguine winks at the genie and says, "Ordinary penguines are modest. I am an Emperor Penguine."

© Holy Roller Emperor Penguin God 5/2/02